This Commentary was given at Rosh Hashanah services on September 30, 2008 at the
 Congregation for Humanistic Judaism by Sandy Cadman, President

A Choosing People

We CHJ members are a Choosing People.  We have our roots in a Judaism that might have been secular or orthodox or anywhere in between.  But we have chosen Humanistic Judaism.  Being a member of any congregation meets a variety of our personal and social needs – and CHJ certainly does that well in many ways, but we have chosen the Congregation for Humanistic Judaism especially because we want to celebrate our Jewish identity in a way that does not conflict with our human-centered philosophy of life.  It allows us to express the Jewishness of our cultural and ethnic roots, even while we question traditional Jewish theology.  

 In this New Year, there will be many choices we will make for ourselves as individuals.  We will make some other important choices as members of the larger community, the nation and the world.  Every choice can’t be the best one and we’re better at making some choices than others.  We all make some poor choices in our lives – I have made many of them myself and our nation has certainly made some choices we question – but we learn from those choices, and occasionally there are good things that come from those poor choices.  The point is that we do have choices, and as we choose we need to be aware that alternatives are available to us.  

 During the summer I had a terrible cold and was driving down Bahia Vista on my way to the doctor’s office.  As I sailed down the road in the fast lane, I wasn’t thinking about driving – I was concerned about being late for my appointment – until I saw the flashing lights in my rear view mirror.  It turns out I was going way too fast for the posted speed on that street.  Actually, I hadn’t even looked for the signs that indicated the speed limit.  I never consciously chose to speed, but not to choose is to choose.  My habitually heavy foot on the accelerator made the choice.  I got a ticket, paid a sizable fine and went to Traffic School.  In that process, I think I may have learned to be a safer driver.  I certainly learned that I should choose to be a driver who is aware and not careless about her driving.  And I learned to watch for speed signs.

 We make choices in many ways. There are the ones we make out of habit: we get up in the morning and automatically reach for a favorite pair of chinos and a shirt; we’re hungry so we open the fridge and grab a bottle of juice or an apple from the fruit drawer or the leftover cake on the top shelf; we’re bored or stressed and we reach for a cigarette or a piece of candy. Habit saves time in making routine choices. Frequently those choices don’t matter.  Sometimes they really do.

 Many choices we do make consciously. We work on them, gathering information, talking with others, surfing the web, weighing the pros and cons. Some people make choices and then live with them.  Others keep changing their choices again and again.  No matter what they choose they can find a reason why their choice is wrong and they think they’ve failed somehow.  Then there are those who just take whatever comes along first, and if it turns out to be a poor choice, they get rid of it and choose again.  Some seek perfection -- trying to improve on the choices they make – but they know that true perfection isn’t possible and so they make the best choices they can at the time and hope to do better in the future.  Each of us tends to use all of these approaches at different times and in different situations.

 Attitudes significantly color the choices we make.   At my first CHJ service I knew immediately it was the place for me.  I attended that service after reading some of Rabbi Wine’s books, and I already expected to like Humanistic Judaism.  The welcoming members and the service filled with meaning for me made CHJ feel like home.   Choosing CHJ was an easy choice to make, and it felt as though I had made it very quickly. But the earlier reading I had done and my positive expectations made possible what felt like a spontaneous choice.

 Whether we are making personal choices or societal ones, frequently our first impressions are based on appearances and other superficial characteristics such as accents or speech patterns.  Some of our biases are positive and may produce positive results for us.  Being predisposed negatively, though, often leads to negative results.  If we see someone with a different skin color than our own, or wearing a strange head covering, our deeply ingrained prejudices and strong prior associations are triggered immediately, and we often make snap judgments about that person. We do that without even being aware of the unconscious prejudice that has led to our response.  We might have biases toward people who are overweight, or very short, very tall, or very thin.  When we make choices about a person based only on what we initially see or hear, we are often wrong.  

 None of us is untouched by these biases. I was traveling by plane to Albany from Sarasota in the summer, and found myself stuck in Charlotte because of weather delays.  While waiting in line to be assigned to another flight to Albany, I noticed a man looking into a shopping bag that sat on the floor next to one of the pillars nearby.  He seemed to be doing something with the bag, and then he joined the line at the very end, leaving the bag where it had been. The man had dark skin and appeared to me to be middle-eastern.  I didn’t hear him speak. He wore jeans and a shirt similar to what everyone else was wearing.  But seeing him doing something with that bag triggered all kinds of prejudices that I have sitting in the back of my mind.  I remembered the warnings about people carrying bags that looked suspicious.  My initial thought was that it was his bag and that he had placed it against that pillar.   As I thought about it later, I never saw him put it there.  When I first noticed the bag he was looking into it and straightening it. That made me wonder about him and the bag.  My quick conclusion was that it was his bag and that perhaps it represented something dangerous.  I talked to myself, suggesting that I was being needlessly suspicious. 

 Nevertheless, I periodically looked to see whether the bag was still there, and I watched him as the line moved slowly toward the counter.  I didn’t see him look at the bag again, and he never picked it up.  After about fifteen minutes, a woman with a child in a stroller picked up the bag and walked down the concourse.  As I watched her walk away I felt both relief that the bag hadn’t been a threat and embarrassment that I had been so suspicious of the stranger.  Later, I wondered why he had been looking into the bag in the first place. It occurred to me then that he may have investigated the bag out of his own concern for our safety.  My prejudice didn’t allow that to be my first -- or even my second -- thought.  

 Once we recognize the impact that biases have on the choices we make, we need to be active in managing and controlling those responses.  Our first impressions are based on our own experiences and are often influenced by the attitudes we learned from parents, teachers, and other significant people in our early lives.  If we want to be able to make more open-minded choices about people, we can change our first impressions by choosing to expose ourselves to new and positive experiences with those about whom we may be prejudiced.  And we need to edit our thoughts, to recognize biases, and consciously move them aside.

 Whether we make conscious choices or instinctive or habitual ones, we can control the attitudes and biases we bring to those choices. We need to listen to our inner voice that says don’t or do.  Our inner voice is the message we get from our conscience or our unconscious values. It’s a red flag that warns us to reconsider what we are about to do. When I don’t listen to my inner voice, I almost always make the wrong choice. 

 Major decisions should be made when we’re relaxed and our minds are sharp, and especially when we are stress-free.  No matter if we’re making choices for ourselves, for our families, or for our nation, we need to focus on eliminating prejudices that cloud our reason.  We need to keep ourselves true to the principles and values that are most important to us.   Biases can build walls.  By recognizing them and moving them aside we can begin to build bridges.

 Every year holds many choices for us, and this year is no different. We may choose new friends, decide to sell or buy a home.  We have a presidential election and important Florida state ballot items in November when our choices will make a difference. And maybe some of you will join me in choosing to drive more carefully.

 Whatever choices you have to make, please remember that although you may need to search in order to find alternatives, options are there if you look hard enough.  Every year is a year of choices, but Rosh Hashana reminds us that we should try to make better choices in the New Year.   We are both a thoughtful and a choosing people, and in the New Year I wish all of us choices that build bridges toward a more positive tomorrow -- for ourselves, for our families, for our community, for our nation and for the world.  

 And I wish you all Shana Tova U’Metuka!   May you have a sweet and a healthy New Year.